I Love Her, But I Wont Love Her To Death

I lost my mom
No, She didn't die
Just dead to me
And I don't mean that to be mean
I mean I love her, she just doesn't love me
Or does she?
she left me and she didn't look back
She turned away and it seemed so easy for her
To choose drugs over me
I've cried for 24yrs 11months and 2days
I've been missing something
But after 25, I wont cry nomore
My eyes are tired
My heart is heavy
I wanna Help, boy wouldn't she like that
My money is the only thing she likes about me
I wanted to make her proud, but I just couldn't be like her
I don't like what drugs do to you mom
I don't like the person you are, cause I know the person you could be
I'm ashamed of you
I pretend that my mom is someone else
I don't like you to come around
I feel the need to dress you up and make you someone you're not
But you're a druggie and I gotta face that
You're a drunk
And I just wanna help
I just want you to hug me........
Even though you let him hurt me
I still love you!!!
So why don't you love me?
Why do you only love what I can do for you?
Why can't we shop together?
Why can't I call you when I need a mom?
Why did I have to suffer because you were an idiot!?!
I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean that
I just get so mad becasue I love you so much that I hate myself sometimes
So I guess this is it
I'll be 25 soon and I don't plan to cry anymore
I guess I gotta let you go
And it hurts so bad, but I gotta do it
Cause all you think I can offer you is money and I know that will kill you
Mommy I gotta say goodbye,
Cause I love you, But I will not love you to death......