A Scare

When I opened my eyes, things were different
I had only been asleep for an hour, but it felt like forever
The air smelled different
Voices sounded different
People and things looked different

There was a terrible pain in my head
It seems that I had forgotten what pain felt like when I was asleep
There were a lot of bright lights when I woke up
And all I remember thinking was, I'm still alive.
Six weeks prior, I was worried that I might have cancer and now all I have is a headache
I think I can live with a headache

I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that my eyes were opened
I couldn't stop thinking about how I had made it through
I was so scared going in that I was actually writing up my WILL
Well, I wanted to have my affairs in order
I was so paranoid, wow
It just seemed like forever waiting til the day and then here it was

I kissed everyone I loved
I cleaned my house til you could see yourself in the paint on the walls
I was worried, but not fearful
And then a calm came over me
It was unlike any calm I had ever known
My spirit was at peace... Or maybe it was the anesthesia

Maybe it was GOD telling me it was gonna be alright
Maybe I knew that GOD would take care of me the whole time
What I'm sure of, is that when I woke up I was different
My outlook on life had changed
My dreams were bigger and better
I was much more determined

Determined........
Much more so to not let anyone ever again tell me that I couldn't have what I wanted
To not let anyone ever again step on my dream
Determined to smile more, to laugh more
To love more
Determined to take care of and love me more

I was given a testimony, a chance, a glance at a better life

I am 25 and I am TUMOR FREE

Thank GOD for the life he's given me

I'm So Tired Of You

I'm so tired of you
Your judgemental eyes
Your ignit bobble head you always shakin at me
And if you point that finger at me againm, you're gonna pull back a nub

Who do you think you are?
So high and mighty, that you can look down on me?
I know you think low of me

You think because you're married and don't have to work, you're better
You think because you can have just about anythin you want, you're better
You think I'm scum and that I should feel honored to know you

I'm sorry I know you
You have no dreams, no real goals
Your goals consist of whatever will make that man happy
It's nice to have someone, but not if you lose yourself in them

And you think there's something wrong with me?
I'm the normal one
I dream big dreams, I call my own shots, I live, I love, I laugh
And I cry too.
I believe that GOD will make a way... I know his capabilities
But I also understand that things wont always happen the way we think they should.

What ticks me off about you is you thimk you're so much better than everyone else
But you're not.
You're not the smartest thing walkin
You're not the cutest
And all that could be looked over if you were at least nice.
You're not even that!

You are a slug.... A blood sucking leech
I almost let you suck all the dreams outta me
My self esteem, My talents, My will to try

I wont let you take my dreams away.
I wont let you tell me that I can't succeed.
I wont let you make me feel like pursuing my dream is pointless
Or like, big things can't happen for me.

I can be great!
I can be anyting I want to be.
I will be everything I want to be.

I wish you good things, but I wont be around to see you get them.
I'll be moving on, getting my own.

YOU'LL SEE ME